If you’re single in the 21st century, chances are you’ve spent some quality time swiping. Dating apps have completely reshaped how we meet people, transforming our phones into gateways for potential romance. From finding a plus-one for a wedding to seeking a soulmate, these platforms are now a go-to tool for modern connection. We swipe, we match, we chat, and hopefully, we find what we're looking for.

But have you ever felt like the deck is stacked against you? Like you're getting fewer matches, or the ones you do get are based on weird, uncomfortable stereotypes? You're not imagining things. For all the connections they create, dating apps have a serious problem with racial bias. It’s built into their algorithms, reflected in user behavior, and it can make the already tough world of dating feel downright impossible for people of color.

So, let's get into it. What’s really going on behind the screen, why is it still broken, and what can we do to fix it?

How Bias Shows Up on Your Screen

Racial bias on dating apps isn't always as obvious as an overtly racist message (though that definitely happens). More often, it's a subtle, systemic issue that quietly shapes your experience on the app. It's woven into the very fabric of how these platforms work.

1. The Algorithm's Blind Spots

At their core, dating apps are just complex computer programs. They use algorithms to decide who shows up in your feed. These algorithms learn from user behavior—who you swipe right on, who you message, and who you ignore. If the app notices that a lot of users tend to swipe left on a certain racial group, it might start showing that group to fewer people.

The result? The algorithm can unintentionally create echo chambers of preference, reinforcing existing biases. It assumes that because some people have shown a preference, everyone must feel that way. This can significantly reduce the visibility of Black, Asian, Latinx, and other non-white users, making it harder for them to get matches. Essentially, the app's code starts to mirror society's biases, making them even stronger.

2. "It's Just a Preference"

This is probably the most common and controversial part of the conversation. Many apps allow users to filter potential matches by race. The argument is that this gives people control over their dating lives. But when does a "preference" become straight-up prejudice?

If someone says they "only date white guys" or are "not into Asian women," they are often dismissing an entire group of people based on stereotypes, not individual connections. This isn't the same as preferring someone who shares your sense of humor or love for horror movies. These filters make it easy for users to enact their racial biases with a simple click, normalizing the idea that it's okay to exclude entire races from your dating pool. It turns people into categories rather than individuals.

3. Stereotypes and Fetishization

For many users of color, the bias isn't about being ignored—it's about getting the wrong kind of attention. This is where fetishization comes in. It’s the opposite of exclusion but just as dehumanizing.

  • Asian women are often stereotyped as submissive or "exotic."
  • Black men are frequently hypersexualized and seen through the lens of harmful stereotypes about aggression or virility.
  • Latinx users might receive messages fetishizing their "spicy" or "fiery" nature.
  • Black women often face a combination of being ignored by some and fetishized by others, navigating a landscape that is both dismissive and objectifying.

When someone's opening line is about your race, it’s a massive red flag. It shows they're not interested in you as a whole person; they're interested in a fantasy they've projected onto you. It’s draining, uncomfortable, and makes it incredibly difficult to form a genuine connection.

The Real-World Impact of Digital Bias

This isn't just about getting fewer matches. The constant exposure to racial bias on dating apps has a real and damaging impact on mental health and self-esteem.

  • It feels incredibly isolating. When you’re consistently overlooked or fetishized, it can make you feel like there’s something wrong with you. You might start to internalize the idea that you are less desirable because of your race, which is a heavy burden to carry.
  • It's emotionally exhausting. Having to constantly navigate microaggressions, stereotypes, and outright racism is draining. The emotional labor of explaining why a "compliment" is actually a fetish, or why a "preference" is problematic, is something that many users of color are forced to do just to exist in these spaces.
  • It reinforces harmful social structures. Dating apps aren't in a vacuum. By allowing racial filtering and not addressing algorithmic bias, they contribute to a larger culture where racial hierarchies are seen as normal. They’re not just reflecting society’s problems; they’re amplifying them.

So, How Do We Fix This Mess?

The good news is that people are talking about this more and more, and there's a growing demand for change. Fixing a problem this big requires action from both the companies that build the apps and the people who use them.

What Dating App Companies Can Do

  1. Ditch the Race Filters: This is a big one. Some apps, like Grindr, have already removed their ethnicity filters in response to user feedback. Other apps should follow suit. While they're at it, they should stop asking for users' race at signup if the data is only used to enable filtering.
  2. Audit the Algorithms: Companies need to be transparent about how their algorithms work and actively audit them for bias. They should invest in creating systems that promote diversity in matching, rather than reinforcing echo chambers. This means designing algorithms that intentionally show users a wider variety of people.
  3. Strengthen Moderation: Apps need to get serious about cracking down on racist language and behavior. This means having clear, easy-to-use reporting functions and a moderation team that actually takes action when users are reported for racist harassment or fetishization.

What We as Users Can Do

  1. Check Your Own Biases: This is uncomfortable, but it’s necessary. We all have unconscious biases shaped by the society we live in. Take a look at your own swiping habits. Are you consistently swiping left on a particular group of people? Ask yourself why. Challenge yourself to be more open-minded and give people a chance based on their bio and personality, not their race.
  2. Report Racist Behavior: When you see it, report it. Don't let racist comments or profiles slide. Reporting bad actors helps the platforms identify and remove them, making the space safer for everyone. The more we signal that this behavior is unacceptable, the less space it will have to exist.
  3. Speak Up and Advocate for Change: Use your voice. Post about your experiences on social media. Tag the dating app companies and ask them what they’re doing to address racial bias. Support apps that are making a genuine effort to create more inclusive platforms. Your engagement (and your money) is powerful.

The Goal Is Genuine Connection

At the end of the day, we all go on dating apps for the same reason: to connect with other people. But that connection can’t be genuine if it’s built on a foundation of stereotypes, fetishization, or exclusion.

Challenging racial bias in online dating isn't about being "politically correct." It's about demanding a space where everyone has an equal opportunity to find happiness and be seen for who they truly are. It’s about creating a digital world that is kinder, fairer, and more open-hearted than the one we currently have. You deserve to be seen, respected, and valued for everything you are, and fighting for that is always a swipe right.